


put the words in my mouth

by gortysproject



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Body manipulation on Jack's behalf, F/M, Fluff, It's just fluff oh my gosh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 21:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6923614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gortysproject/pseuds/gortysproject
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack wants Rhys to get with Fiona, but Rhys would never ask her. So he takes matters into his own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	put the words in my mouth

**Author's Note:**

> This is thanks to rhysandfiona.tumblr's suggestion: "someone give me fanfics where jack is taking over rhys to try to ask fiona out and he’s trying super hard to not fuck things up for him". I hope you like it c:

The sky is slipping from a bright lilac into a murky violet when Jack appears, startling Rhys. The caravan has parked for the night; nobody wants to drive in the dark over this terrain, so Gortys switched off the upgrade navigation and Rhys left the wheel to head outside. He needs to stretch his legs once in a while. 

“Heeeey, Rhysie,” Jack starts with, and Rhys has decidedly not missed that voice. Even if it has been unusually quiet for a few days. 

“What,” he deadpans. 

“Come on, kiddo, at least try to sound like you’re excited to see me. Really boosts my ego.” Rhys can only snort derisively before Jack’s carrying on. “ _Anyway,_ I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

This catches Rhys’ attention, because with Jack, this is normally followed up with _we’re in danger_ or _I want you to kill someone_ or something of the sort. So when Jack continues instead to say, “See, you’re like, a pretty cool guy,” Rhys is just _confused_. 

“Am I right? Yeah. Embrace it, Rhys, I don’t give out compliments that much. But not only are you pretty cool, you’re also associated with _me_. See where I’m goin’? Nah, ’course you don’t, doofus. You’re so slow. But – what I’m trying to say is, a guy like you needs a date. Someone on your arm. Someone to make you look even cooler.” 

This is about as far as he could get from what Rhys could have ever imagined talking to Handsome Jack’s AI about. “Jack…?” 

“And while we both know your fragile little heart belongs entirely and wholly to me, we both know I’m, like, _crazy_ outta your league. So – and hear me out on this – you should get with Fiona.” 

“You’re kidding.” 

“Come on, cupcake, I know you like her,” drawls Jack, and Rhys is not flushing, because that would be awful and embarrassing. “I mean, it’s actually kinda gross, how you’re always lookin’ at her when she doesn’t know and gettin’ these – _literal_ heart-eyes, man, my girlfriend would’ve put a bullet in my skull if I’d tried any of that mushy crap on her. But you two seem to kinda… like it. I think. You’re all so vanilla, it’s really lame. But she’s hot, and you need to get laid before you get some kinda blue balls, so –” 

Rhys interrupts him there. “God, Jack, I’m not just gonna –” 

“Come on, Rhys, you’d be such an awesome couple, it’ll be like —” 

“Jack, _no_ –” 

“Okay, so your _voice_ is saying no, but the way your heart rate just sped up like _crazy_ is saying yes –” 

“Rhys, are you talking to _yourself_ out here?” 

Rhys and Jack freeze at the same time, eyes wide, before Rhys turns to Fiona and combs his bionic fingers through his hair nervously. “I…” 

Jack tries to put a hand on his arm, but it just sweeps through Rhys’ chest. “Okay, buddy, I’m gonna tell you what to say, and you’re gonna follow it word-for-word. Capisce?” 

Rhys doesn’t want to trust him on that, but Fiona’s giving him a really weird look and he’s lost the ability to think of words himself, so he gives a jerky nod. 

“Rhys? You in there?” 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Jack says, “it’s been a long ol’ day.” 

“Sorry, _Fiona_ ,” Rhys echoes, offering Jack a glare, “it’s been a long day.” 

Fiona frowns at him, and Rhys can’t tell if she’s disbelieving or just concerned. He’d probably be a bit of both in her shoes, so he can’t really blame her. “R...ight,” she replies slowly. “Well, we got the spare bed set up, since nobody’s driving tonight.” 

“Awesome,” says Jack, and Rhys copies him. “But the only bed I wanna be in is yours, sugar.” 

Rhys is halfway through the sentence when the realisation dawns on him, so instead of Jack’s smooth line, Fiona ends up hearing, “But the only bed I wanna b—be is _what_?” 

“Ugh,” is Jack’s only response, before he steps forward and taps the edge of Rhys’ neural port. It sends a shock through Rhys, but he doesn’t realise at first what Jack has actually done. 

Fiona’s staring at him again. “Rhys, seriously, what the hell. You’re being… _really_ weird.” 

Rhys is about to stumble through an apology when he hears himself say, in a distinctly sharper voice, “Like I said, sweetheart, it’s been a long ol’ day.” 

_Oh no_ , he thinks, panicking. _Ohhhhh no._ He knew this was a mistake. 

“But,” continues Jack, and Rhys can’t stop his own voice from talking no matter how hard he fights to regain control, “there’s something I wanna tell you. ’Cause it’s really killing me, you know, keeping it secret.” 

Fiona’s still frowning, and now she’s folding her arms, and this is a _disaster_. Jack leans Rhys’ body against the side of the caravan casually, forearm pressed against the metal, and _oh great now he has control of my body, too._

“Vaughn and I, we’ve only been on Pandora for – what – a couple of weeks? And I’m not gonna lie, I thought it would grow on me. But it still kinda sucks.” Jack-Rhys releases an exaggerated sigh, and leans in slightly. “But if I’m being honest, then… I don’t wanna go back to Helios, not just yet. And it’s not the Vault, or the money, not anymore. I can’t imagine leaving _you_.” 

Judging by the look on her face, this is the last thing Fiona expected to hear. Rhys himself is surprised at it; either Jack is about to start laughing in her face, or he really wants Rhys to get with her. And since there’s no immediate laughing-in-face, he relaxes. Minutely. 

Fiona flicks her fringe to the side with one finger, which then presses down on the brim of her hat to adjust it. “Oh,” she replies, and Rhys’ heart deflates. Jack keeps him looking unaffected externally. 

Then, after a moment, she half-smiles. “Not bad. For a Hyperion ass.” 

“Listen, Pandora still has some terrible, awful crap in it – but, you know. There’s a part worth savin’, and you’re definitely in there.” Jack’s smiling at her, and she’s smiling back, and Rhys has no idea what just happened when suddenly he feels himself regain control of his body again. 

“So – um,” and his voice comes out decidedly squeakier than it was before. “You said… something about a spare bed?” 

Fiona grins, and he’s strangely fearful of the glint in her eyes. “What, you’re gonna say all that and not even kiss me? Pretty sure I’ve been better seduced by a _bandit,_ Rhys.” 

His eyes are widening, and he’s stammering around some weak reply, when her hand curls in his tie and yanks him down to press their lips together firmly. “You talk too much,” she murmurs against his mouth, and he huffs a chuckle before angling his head to kiss her properly. 

He can’t decide whether to be mad at Jack or thank him.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at gortisproject.tumblr.com if you have any requests/liked this one. ^-^


End file.
